I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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