What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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