Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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