it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize