How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
