I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
