i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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