You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
