We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Randomize
