I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
