I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I have fence marks all over my body
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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