I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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