How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
