C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
