Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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