the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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