i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
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