I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
