And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
