if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
