please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize