I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
