I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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