she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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