The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
