sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I love you.
Bad choice
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
