As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Randomize
