Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
