The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
