so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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