I just threw up on my dentist
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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