Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
