I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The air was thick with penises
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
