i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
she peed on how many people?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
