you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Couch. On fire.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
