Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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