nut hugger
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
