he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
