no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
In America we eat man semen.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
