Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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