It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
