Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize