I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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