he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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