I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
