Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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