i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
