He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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