Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
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