Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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