i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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