I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize