She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
