chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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