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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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