I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just pee around me
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
