Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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