I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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